Anyway, I just try to present what I’ve learned and experienced in the most authentic way possible, so hopefully others can think about Japan in a well-rounded manner.” Sure, Just walk up and Whoops! Like so many interactions in Japan, things often start off promising, only to become vastly more complicated before hot dog hits bun, so to speak. What woman would settle for an illiterate man with no money and little social standing? If you get married, or have kids, you can pretty much kiss your ass goodbye.
First of all, understand that very few Japanese women are interested in dating men of other races. Of course, if you hang around in gaijin bars, then yeah, you’ll meet the one-percent of “Japanese chicks who study English.” And they’ll come equipped with tons of stereotypical ideas about white, black, and miscellaneous brown people. Don’t forget to mention your manga collection and the fact you’re a yellow belt in karate. So when you initially meet someone new, you’re already pre-defined as “a foreigner,” someone whose skin color, clothing, habits, and beliefs places them instantly outside of the social order. Or are you just going to peace out back to Canada and live with your mom after a couple of years? Case in point, I ran in my buddy Tim-Bob the other day, having beers in a gaijin bar.
Outside of Irish bars, international parties and the like, in the society at large – and I hate to say this, but well – foreigners are not highly regarded in Japan, including by Japanese women.
Foreigners occupy a space similar to that of gays in America: a group viewed as not really “normal,” with values and behaviors outside of the mainstream, but also thought of as flamboyant and entertaining.
Anyway, it’s not easy for foreign men; we just have ridiculously low standards. Like I was on a date with this Japanese girl – this was a couple of years ago – and we went to a Mexican restaurant. And we were hitting it off, drinking Coronas and laughing and making flirty eyes and then out of nowhere, and bear in mind this was our first date, she asks, Things kind of degraded from there, and we never went out again.
Which is a shame, because I was kind of into that whole witch thing.
And you’ll have kids for sure, because that cements the argument. Japanese people value working ridiculously hard, and they’ll expect you to do the same. Seems like you’d have no problem if you were willing to A) Settle for anything that walks, and B) Plan interesting activities for your loved one to enjoy, do virtually all of the talking, and pretend to find him infinitely fascinating. That’s some of what dating a Japanese woman entails.
Here, well, you’ll get something, but it’s unlikely to be someone on your same level. You know, I initially believed Japanese women were wild about foreign men. What’s really happening is self-selection: foreigners frequent places where the few women interested in foreigners all congregate.
Today I’m very happy to present you a guest post by a great fellow Japan blogger. I’m sure you’ve heard of him, and I highly recommend reading his blog. You’ll learn what life in Japan is really like – in a funny and sometimes sarcastic way. This has had some mixed results, but at least my wardrobe looks fantastic and my cholesterol level is nice and low.
I moved here permanently in 2008, at which point I gave up eating cheeseburgers, wearing wrinkled t-shirts, and speaking English.
We paid the money for a room with lots of mirrors, went in, started making out on the bed, and then just as we were about to, as they say, consummate matters, she looked up at me and asked, I was like, What the hell? And you know I’m not trying to lead anybody on, but for Christ’s sake. Okay, so I haven’t dated that many Japanese women, statistically speaking.
Probably not even two percent of the population, but in general I’ve gotta say they have amazingly low sex drive, little experience in bed, and that the most exciting thing you’re likely to hear is, “” With all that, it’s surprising how many foreign guys end up with rather homely Japanese ladies. Well, if you spend enough time fishing, you’re bound to hook a boot or an old tire eventually.
That means you can forget about breezing home at five, ordering an extra-large pizza, putting your feet up, and watching TV. No, you either have to stay at the office until midnight, or come home and get busy. Sorry, I meant, “true love.” My fingers slipped off the keys.